How to initiate sex?

Initiating sex can be exciting when you communicate your desire for sex to your partner.

When Should Sex Be Initiated?

When Should Sex Be Initiated?

People in relationships may benefit from sexual intimacy in addition to feeling empowered and relieved of stress through this activity. 

Initiating physical touch, sex, and a partner is an intentional way to maintain and deepen intimacy in the relationship. Taking the initiative expresses desire, intimacy, and active interest in mutual connection.

It may be scary to initiate sex, but it is worth it for your long-term satisfaction. To have an enjoyable sexual experience, we must ask for what we want. "It is more likely that initiating sex will result in having sex than not initiating sex, which is vital for the physical, emotional, and relational well-being of the individual."

Sex itself can also strengthen a couple's connection. "Initiating sex involves emotional connection and affectionate gestures, which deepen the intimacy and bond between partners."

Why is initiating sex so scary?

Why is initiating sex so scary?

Because we are afraid to be vulnerable and afraid to be refused by our partner, many take it personally; we must often remember that our partner's unwillingness comes from reasons unrelated to us, such as fatigue, lack of energy, exhaustion, and medical problems. Everyone experiences sexual arousal differently. We must understand what our arousal types are and that of our partners. 

Besides, we've been taught the wrong things about sexuality from the start. that many people don't initiate sex because they think it should happen naturally and spontaneously. Still, it takes commitment and cultivation to have a healthy sexual life. If we don't make sex happen, it won't.

Wife Never Initiates Sex 

Wife Never Initiates Sex

The most common male vs. female stereotype is that men want sex all the time, while women can take or leave it. Men frequently complain that their wives don't initiate sex or don't seem interested, perpetuating the stereotype that women aren't interested.

Women often don't feel comfortable asserting themselves sexually and may also feel hesitant about your response to her advances since most haven't been taught or encouraged to do so.

You guys will enjoy this opportunity.

When your wife shows interest, it's important to respond. If you fail to respond properly or ignore her signals, you could make your wife feel embarrassed and insecure. The result may be that she does not initiate sex anymore because she feels embarrassed and unsure of herself.

Telling her what you like is also a good way to encourage her. Things like these help her know what she likes and motivate her to initiate sex. “I love your touch,” “I love your hair,” “I don’t know how to concentrate when you smile at me that way.”

If you see your wife initiating sex, tell her you like her and want her to do more of it. It will encourage her to continue.

She may also initiate sex more often

She may also initiate sex more often if she experiences the following:

  • Women complain that stress keeps them from being as sexual as they wish to be. By easing her burden or taking care of some chores, you will make her more appreciative and have more energy for you. Changing bed linens doesn't necessarily mean she'll sleep with you if you change them. It also amplifies your sensitivity to her and her appreciation of you. Don't think of it as a favor you can ask for or as a guilt trip. Rather, think of it as a gesture she'll appreciate.

  • You can encourage her to experiment and be adventurous, especially sexually, by making her feel valued and respecting her.

  • When you flirt with each other, you remind each other that you each have sexual desire under all the baggage of life. It keeps things fun, too. Try flirting with her and responding to her flirting. In this way, you can let her know you're interested and keep the sexual activity going.

  • There are differences between women and men when it comes to sex and initiation, which is why we make assumptions about what they want. It's, like, really different. You may not initiate sex because you do it, or maybe she doesn't think you'd like the things she's contemplating if she initiated them. Regardless, it's all about communication. It doesn't take much to get started talking about sex. 

Ways to initiate sex

Ways to initiate sex

It doesn't matter what kind of relationship; you should always get consent first. Sex Initiation Tips:

  1. Get your confidence back. Don't take it personally if your partner doesn't want to have sex with you. Talk to a trusted friend or sex therapist about any anxiety you feel about initiating sex.

  2. Build anticipation for sexual activity so your partner knows you're coming. Send a low-pressure sext at the right time, leave a note for them, plan a date night, or whisper some dirty talk to your partner to show you're thinking of them.

  3. Foreplay is critical. Make sure you invest in your partner's aroused-and your own—by setting a romantic mood. Light some candles, put on soothing music, and offer your partner a massage or cuddle.

  4. Make sure you describe your partner's sexiness, what you love about them, and what you'd like to do in the bedroom or elsewhere. Novelty can also be a big turn-on, so work with your partner if she wants to try something new.

  5. To feel more secure in your relationship and more connected, talk to your partner about sex. You can ask them howthey would like to be seduced. Make a yes/no/maybe list of your sexual desires and boundaries. People prefer touch to verbal communication; others prefer verbal communication. There are times when talking about sex can turn someone on. This is whether they want more time to be aroused and plan sex or if they want a quick, spontaneous session.

Itzik Barlev

Itzik Barlev

Itzik Barlev, the founder and owner of Mioshy, has extensive experience developing relationship games, psychology, personal development, and couple empowerment.